Thursday, April 14, 2011

A Doll Called Regret Gets a New Name

I mentioned before how this past month has been rather sad.

At the beginning of March,
I learned that my grandmother had taken a turn for the worse.
I'd known for about six months or so that she had cancer.
Unfortunately, the time had come for us to go say goodbye to her.

When I was a little girl, I thought my grandmother was the greatest person in the world.
Unfortunately, I never was able to have the relationship with her that I dreamed of...
or really, any relationship with her at all (this was not by my choice).

Hearing that I had to go say goodbye to her was really difficult for me.
I guess there's always been a little girl locked away inside,
hoping that one day things would magically change.

My first response was one that I'm sure many of you can relate to...
I threw myself into crafting in order to work through my feelings.

That is how Regret came to be.

I worked on her almost nonstop and filled her with all my regrets.
I shed quite a few tears as I stitched her together.
When the time came to paint her face, my first thought was to make her sad.
She had other plans...

As I was working on her face, the lyrics to the song "Smile" came to mind
(which was odd...I hadn't heard that song in forever!)

"Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile."

I realized something very important while working on Regret.
While my grandmother and I were never able to have the relationship I had dreamed of, she did have a major influence on me.
She was the one that really inspired me to create things like dolls in the first place.

I may not have had many memories with my grandmother,
but the ones I do have are all happy.

As I made the final touches on Regret, she requested I give her a new name...

And that is how the doll called Regret became known as Memory.
Funny what one can learn from a little doll, huh?

In Loving Memory :)

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Sad News

I woke up Sunday to an absolutely beautiful day.
I was making Alex's breakfast and planning our day together when I got a phone call.
My boss lost his twenty year old daughter in a car accident the night before.
Police showed up at his door at 3 in the morning to give him the news.

Isn't it scary how our entire lives can change in just a moment?
Her death has reminded me to hug my loved ones a little tighter and appreciate everyone in my life a little bit more.

I came home last night after a ten hour work day to find my son in a grumpy, whiny mood. My first reaction would be to sigh and become frustrated, but I stopped myself and just hugged my little guy close and did the best I could to make him happy.
Because I know my boss would give anything in the world right now to come home and find his daughter there...even if she were in the worst of moods.

Will you guys do me a favor this week?
Tell someone you love how much you love them...or give them a hug...or a kiss.
Just make sure they know how much you care about them.

Anyway, it's been pretty sad around here the past few weeks.
March has been one of those months that brought a new piece of sad news every single week.
And this piece of news has probably been the most heartbreaking of all.
It has certainly made getting anything creative done very difficult.

I am so hoping things will get brighter after this!
I think I need some happy in my life right about now.